The first year of marriage is often a busy time with many transitions. You'll spend a lot of time together involved in daily tasks-- cleaning, showering, cooking, shopping, driving, sleeping. However, how much of that is real quality time? It is important as newlyweds to continue to make time for dates. Do the things you did together when first dating. Continue to make getting away together a priority, perhaps try to schedule to weekends a year (at least) that you can take off together. You will be amazed at the refreshment you will find in sharing time away together.

C.S. Lewis in his book The Four Loves says that the surest way to feel in love is to act loving towards a person. The emotions are certain to follow our actions. Commit to loving your spouse even when you don't like him/her. Practice humility and forgiveness. Keep short accounts with one another.

During our engagement my husband and I read a great book for newlyweds called The First Years of Forever (Zondervan House, 1988.) I highly recommend this book to any married couple, especially those just starting out in their marriage. One of the suggestions in the book revolutionized our relationship (and it was a small suggestion, not even a major point in the book.)

If you've offended your spouse in some way, author Ed Wheat said not to say "I'm sorry." "I'm sorry" is insufficient -- it can mean any number of things. (Like "I'm sorry I was caught," or "I'm sorry that made you upset but I'm not sorry I did it.") Instead, take responsibility for your action by saying something like, "I was wrong. Will you forgive me?"

Such an apology demonstrates your remorse and places the ball in your spouse's court. He/she is faced with their own decision in the situation: to forgive or hold a grudge. It is hard for either of you to feel self-righteous at that point. We've used this principle about a million times in our first year of marriage and it has allowed us to keep short accounts with one another and not hold grudges that accumulate into bitterness.

As the title of the book just mentioned states, these initial years of marriage are your first years of forever together. They can be marked by disappointment, anger, and bitterness or by grace, forgiveness, and forever-love. Building upon the firm foundation of commitment and preventing potholes early on can ensure that the closeness and caring you experienced on your honeymoon will not only last…it will continue to grow as the years go by.