by Heather Tomasello, Staff Writer

What to do When Your Mate is "In the Mood" but You are NOT

*Family Friendliness Warning: This article contains language unsuitable for children.

Every couple experiences it as some point in their relationship: an occasion where one desires physical intimacy and the other doesn't. This quandary is not limited to sex, one partner may merely want to be kissed or touched, while, at the moment, the other has no interest in or is even opposed to intimate involvement.

What is the best way to turn your mate down if you are not "in the mood?" How can you avoid hurting his/her feelings?

During dinner your husband has a sparkle in his eye and his hand on your leg. He is giving off strong signals that he would like to forego dessert and head for the bedroom. You feel you are not at all interested in physical intimacy. Have you asked yourself why?

There are several reasons you may want to refuse your mate's advances. You may be physically exhausted after a hard day's work, or battling a headache or the flu. You may be worn out from last night's escapades. As a woman you may be at a point in your monthly cycle where your desires wanes low. As a man your semen may be low so that you don't think you could have a very strong erection.

You may also be angry with your mate and unconsciously even trying to punish him/her by withholding. Or you may simply not feel emotionally close to your husband or wife. (This is often the case for women, who by and large need to feel close to their partner emotionally before they can be close physically.)